last night i dropped Riley off at my parents house and headed out to the barn for a riding lesson.  Because Riley usually spends the day with my mom on wednesdays, we had decided he could just stay overnight last night.

So i had my lesson and in a discussion about when to schedule the next one, I talked about how convenient tuesdays were for me because of the riley/ mom situation we had worked out.  How nice to be able to have an evening off, have my mom keep him overnight, and spend some time without running around changing diapers, feeding bottles, bathing, putting to bed.  All the things that have become routine for me in the evenings. 

When I got home, Jason wasn’t there quite yet, so i kind of wandered around the house getting ready for bed- a shower without worrying what to do with Riley-usually he hangs out on the bathroom rug playing with his toys while i shower.  When i stepped out, i really missed having him sitting there grinning up at me.

I wasn’t overly tired, but the dogs had long since retreated to bed- so essentially i was alone in the house.  I wandered around for a bit, but with no bottles to fix or wash in the kitchen, or toys to pick up in the addition, i decided to go to bed.

Riley and I share a bedroom of sorts (really-i just borrow the closet from him for my clothes).  I went in there to get my pajamas and looked at his empty crib.  I really missed the 5 minutes i usually spend in there watching him sleep before i go to bed. 

Jason came home then, whispering because he “didn’t want to wake up Riley”.  After a few minutes of tip-toeing around, he comes in the bedroom with his confused look “is riley even here?”  We talked for a bit, and turned out the lights- it was hard to fall asleep without the background music of Riley’s crib soother, or his inevitable snoring.  And the house was unusually dark without his nightlight plugged in.

Life sure was different for us when Riley came 8 months ago- I was frustrated with all the changes i was having to make to my life, and fearful of the boredom that comes with routine.  Last night I realized just how much I appreciate all those changes and I miss the routine.