i know I talk a lot about riley here, but really, he consumes the majority of my life.  In 4 short weeks he will be 1 year old.  I woke up this morning at 5 with him kicking around in his crib.  He went back to sleep, I did not.

  I found myself trying to remember how I felt at 5 am this time last year.  I can remember that I didn’t get much sleep, I can remember that i couldn’t get comfortable no matter how I rolled around (which wasn’t much at this point), I can remember hoping for riley to come early so I could have it over with.  What I can’t seem to really recall is the frustration, the overwhelming hormonal emotions that made me want to cry for no reason (this went on for the entire month of October), the nervousness, all that stuff.  Its weird how its all blocked out.  I found myself trying to hold on to all these emotions as they are a once in a lifetime thing.  I will never again have a “first baby”.  Sure, some things may be similar the next time around, but I am anticipating an entirely different experience.

I found myself looking back today at pictures from Riley at 1 month, 3 months, 5 months.  I hardly recognize the baby in the pictures.  I don’t remember him with so little hair, or such a round head.  To me he has always looked like the little boy he has become.  Goofy, easy going, independent, energetic, wonderful, Riley.